


In a New Light

by rebeccamariexx



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, First Kiss, Getting Together, Quidditch, Tumblr: jilytober, heads common room, jily
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-06
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2019-07-25 19:35:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16204256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rebeccamariexx/pseuds/rebeccamariexx
Summary: To say Lily Evans was frustrated would be an understatement. She was only halfway through her Potions essay, the new rounds schedule hadn’t even been touched, and James Potter sat at his desk by hers in their Heads common room completely ignorant to all the confusing thoughts that were swimming around in her head.





	In a New Light

To say Lily Evans was frustrated would be an understatement. She was only halfway through her Potions essay, the new rounds schedule hadn’t even been touched, and James Potter sat at his desk by hers in their Heads common room completely ignorant to all the confusing thoughts that were swimming around in her head.

These thoughts had started mid-way through their sixth year. They’d always been decent friends, sometimes stretching the term acquaintances when things got really tense, but with the increasing danger and threat of the Wizarding War, there was no room for making enemies among friends. By that point in their Hogwarts careers, Lily was already firm friends with the rest of the Marauders, Remus and her bonding over their Prefect rounds the year before, and once her friendship with Snape had become null and void, she filled her time with her Gryffindor friends more than ever (though if she was honest with herself that had been happening gradually since she was twelve). James was an enigma to Lily during those years, but it didn’t take a genius to figure out why teenage James was the way he was. He was privileged, coming from extreme wealth and blood status, but also a desperate need to prove himself, which he often made up for in arrogance, faking confidence that was so seamless that unless you were watching, really looking, you wouldn’t notice.

But notice Lily did.

So, mid-sixth year, it was after a Quidditch game that Gryffindor, on account of typical Slytherin cheating, lost the match. Lily had been waiting for her friend Marlene but had realised that she must have already left for the castle when she walked by the changing rooms. There were voices speaking quietly inside and Lily, always one for curiosity, silently walked closer to make out the words.

“-I’m so sorry, this is all my fault, James.” The first voice had whispered, sounding defeated. Lily recognised it as Lacey Brookes, the third year Seeker for the Gryffindor Quidditch team. 

The second voice, undoubtedly James, replied back firmly, “Of course it’s not. No one blames you, Lacey. No, listen, those bloody Slytherins played dirty and anyone with eyes could see that. You played brilliantly, I was watching whenever I had a spare moment.” There was silence then Lily vaguely heard a sniffle.

“It was my job to catch the snitch-”

“He kicked your broom mid-flight, Lacey! He could’ve seriously hurt you if you hadn’t have come back from the hit so easily.” 

She heard movement and walked closer, peaking through the slight gap in the door. 

James was embracing the crying third year and Lily took the opportunity to look at him properly. He looked upset - of course, he did - but there was something in Lily that thought that it went beyond losing a Quidditch match and more about Lacey crying into his chest. 

Lily had never been on a Quidditch team before but she knew from Marlene that James always ran a close-knit team, encouraging them to support one another and was one to let them have a joke or two. James considered almost anyone his friend, and she was sure that seeing Lacey so inconsolable was doing nothing for James’ mind.

That, or he was a teenage boy who had no idea what to do with a crying girl.

James had pulled back from the hug and was holding Lacey firmly on the shoulders, staring at her and imploring her to hear and believe his words. “We’ll get them back. They didn’t win by much, which means they aren’t that much further ahead of us for the cup. If we’re lucky then we’ll get a chance to prove them wrong this year, but if not, we’ve got next year - a whole summer to practice!” 

Lacey made a noise that was half out of laughter and exasperation.

“I’m serious! This one loss means nothing in the long run, I swear it. You didn’t do anything wrong, you did everything right. Now you head back up to the castle, okay? I’ll just finish up here.”

Lily’s eyes widened and quickly bolted from the door, hiding as best she could from Lacey who opened the door only a second after Lily was safely out of view. 

There was a large part of Lily that wanted to leave, to just head back up to the castle, but there was a small part, that part of her that was often getting her in trouble, that demanded to stay. 

Giving into it just this once, Lily approached the door again and knocked. She smiled shyly when she opened the door and saw James’ bewildered look at her appearance.

“I thought you’d be here.” Lies, but she needed to save face.

James raised his eyebrow. “Did you, now?” His smirk was back up full-force, but it didn’t reach his eyes though and Lily realised that she wasn’t the only one trying to save face.

“Rough game.”

His smile dropped and his shoulders slumped. “Yeah, you’re telling me.”

Silence.  
“I saw Lacey leave, is she-”

“Blames herself, which is ridiculous because she did nothing wrong. I tried telling her-”

“-that’s nice of you.”

“But she won’t listen. Merlin, if it’s anyone’s fault it’s mine.” He continued, clearly needing to get this off his chest, and taking solace in Lily’s presence. “I knew that they’d be extra nasty today. With things the way they are in the castle - and how they’d played the other Houses - of course, I knew they were going to be brutal. I didn’t do anything to prep the guys for that, Lacey especially. It’s her first year on the team, she’s the youngest and has the crucial role of deciding who wins, and I didn’t tell her, or teach her, or, Merlin I don’t know, do anything, which was so stupid of me!”

Lily interjected when he took a deep breath. “And tell me how you could’ve prepped her for that? Because from what I saw there was nothing she could’ve done differently. Sometimes there isn’t anything we can do, James.”

James slumped onto the bench, his back facing her and head in his hands. This was the side of James that few saw, and Lily didn’t know how to feel.

She took slow steps towards him and sat down slowly when he didn’t make any effort to talk. “Hey, talk to me, I don’t mind.” 

James turned his head and her heart churned at the look in his eyes, but as quickly as she saw it, it was gone. He smiled, that damn smile he always put up when things seemed rough. 

“Nah, don’t worry about me. I’ve gone through Quidditch loses before, Evans, and I’ve always been fine.”

Lily didn’t move for a moment. Looking, really looking, at the boy in front of her. It wasn’t some magical ‘oh, I see him a new light’ moment, but it was pretty goddamn close. His hair was a mess, it always was, and his glasses sat slightly skewed on his face, but it was his expression, that look in his eyes, that drew her in. He looked like James, not Potter, but a young man who was putting on a brave front for everyone because that’s what he felt everyone expected from him. 

But they weren’t close enough at that point in time for her to do anything about it. She had left soon after, telling him not to be too long, a small smile gracing her lips. For a moment she thought she saw his smile actually reach his eyes for the first time in their small exchange. 

“Alright, Evans?”

The voice brought her back out of her thoughts, that damn memory, and Lily looked up at James Potter, real-time fellow Head Boy, and blinked. Their Heads common room was warm, the light of the fireplace lighting him from behind as he stared expectantly at her. Was it really that hot or was he face just going red?

“Sorry, just thinking.” She muttered, lowering her head back to her awaiting work. Still halfway through and still not having touched the rounds schedule yet, she huffed. 

“You must’ve been thinking mighty hard then, I was just saying if you wanted me to do the schedule? I’ve just finished my workload for the night.” James didn’t wait for her answer, however, and took the offending piece of paper away from her as soon as he was finished speaking.

She protested for a moment, she knew it was her turn to revise the schedule because she had way less on her plate than he had at that time. However, one look from him and she agreed.

“Thanks, James. I swear I’ll be done soon and I will help.”

He grinned wolfishly as he sat back down at his desk. “No need, Evans. Take your time, I’ve got this.”

It was the little things, Lily guesses. She could tell he was as tired as she was, perhaps even a little bit more if she was honest with herself. She knew that he was balancing a lot on his plate, Heads duties, Quidditch, school work, and she knew he’d been sneaking out at least once a month for the night. She didn’t like to think where, and she never bothered asking. At this moment, however, he doesn’t go back up to his room as he could but stays and helps. It softens her heart just a little bit everytime.

Lily isn’t stupid, she knows she’s falling in love with him. It had started not long after that Quidditch match that Lily found her walls that she had built up start to crumble a bit every time she was around him. By this point of their friendship, nearly a year later, she knows that he’s nearly knocked them all down. Regardless, she shoves her head down and gets the essay done, her will to not let him do her work alone winning against her want to relax.

After a bit, she has no concept of how long, Lily finished her Potions essay, knowing it to be passable, but certainly not her best. She moved from her separate desk to the couch, right in front of the fire, and pulled the coffee table so that it was closer to the couch so that they could work together.

Not needing to exchange words, as he actions were enough, James moved from his desk, placing the schedule in front of them and turned to her with a small smile that she matched.

“So I’ve done about half,” James started, “But I’m stuck about Jones. He’s adamant that he’s busy most nights of the week with study groups and such, but says his Wednesday’s are free, but if we put him on Wednesday with Isaacs they’re gonna bite each other’s heads off… We’ve seen how they are in meetings…” He trailed off, frowning down at the table.

“Can he not spare one night?”

“I suppose if I told him that committing to rounds looks better to the headmaster than an excessive amount of study groups do if he wants to be Head Boy in two years.” 

Lily took the paper and used her quill to put Jones down for Tuesday with Adams, someone she knew he got along with. “See? Problem solved.” She turned to look at him as he leaned back into the couch.

“What would I do without you, Evans?”

“Suffer, most probably. But as we can clearly see, I wouldn’t be much better off.”

“No?” 

Lily leaned back too, getting comfortable, but keeping her gaze on the flickering fire. “How do you do it all, James? I know how much you’ve got to do on a daily basis, and yet, you still have time for everything and everyone. I need to write one essay and I get so lost in my thoughts you have to pick up my slack.”

James nudged her at that. “Hey, none of that, I’m sure they were some very important thoughts.”

Lily’s cheeks burned red. Oh, if he only knew…

They were both silent for a beat. 

“I need the distractions,” James said it so quietly, she almost didn’t hear it. “I - it’s just - there’s so much going on at the moment, so many things that I’m powerless to do anything about and I feel like when I stop for too long I lose the momentum and they weigh me down.” He drew in a deep breath and rubbed his hand over his eyes, the other holding his glasses up. “I hate that I can’t get charms as easily as I feel like I should, I hate that Sirius had a terrible family life and had to run away from it, I hate that Remus has to go through - be sick - all the time, that Peter feels like he’s gonna fail Defense, that my team is nervous about facing the Slytherin team again after last time, Lacey most of all, that the Slytherins act like that in the first place, they parade through the halls terrifying the younger students and threatening anyone else, and there’s nothing I can do, not really. I try, I give them detentions, I’ve tried fighting fire with fire, but Merlin, Evans, they’re so dead set about their ways and beliefs that there’s no getting through to any of them. And all of this is just a taster for what’s happening out there. There’s a war going on, Lils, and all I can do is write an essay about the properties of a potion that I know I’m never going to use. And then there’s…”

Lily had been looking at him this whole time, really watching. She didn’t bother to tell him that she knew about Remus being a werewolf, that she knew that he was carrying too many burdens that he shouldn’t be. She felt the same way about nearly all of it. Maybe a year ago they weren’t close enough to talk this frankly, but they certainly were now.

“There’s what, James?”

He sighed and turned to face her, both their heads lying on the back of the couch. “You.”

“Me?”

“You scare me the most out of all of it. I care for you more than I know how to deal with, and it terrifies me that you’re the main target in the war. I know, I know you can defend yourself, but that feeling of dread just never leaves me, not properly. And I know that I’m telling you things that you probably don’t want to hear, Lily, but I - this has been on my mind for a bit, and I feel like I need to tell you this... I would lose my mind if anything happened to you.”

She hadn’t been expecting that, but everything about Lily lit up with every word he spoke, rambled more like. She smiled slightly and moved her head closer, enough to let him know that he hadn’t scared her away, that she wasn’t adverse to what he was saying.

“You scare me too, James. I watch you all the time put on this front for everyone, trying to keep everything together for them, but it scares me that it’s gonna be too much for you one day, that you’ll crumble under it all. You scare me when you dive head first into a fight when you’re the first to defend anyone, but at the same time I know these things make you, you, and I wouldn’t change them for anything.”

James was looking at her now, really looking, and everything in her felt warm.

“I was thinking about you, that’s why I couldn’t get my work done. I was thinking about the first time I ever saw your walls crack, just a bit, back after the Quidditch match with Slytherin. Don’t ask me why, but I guess it’s the first time I ever saw you differently. I knew who you were, I knew what you were like, but I felt like I was seeing this side of you that not many had seen, and I liked that. James, I -”

She stopped there. Enough had been said.

They were so close now, noses touching as they closed their eyes and gave into those terrifying feelings that had been plaguing them both for so long, and it was like a breath of fresh air when their lips meet.  
It was a culmination of so many feelings for both of them after so long, but it wasn’t this big sweeping romantic kiss, it was simple and sweet, and it was everything. James’ hand came up to cup her cheek, deepening this kiss just slightly, but that action cause Lily to smile, her uncontrollable grin forcing them to stop and pull back a bit.

They stared at each other for a second, grins wide, and hearts racing. James went in for one quick peck and Lily chuckled. 

As he ran his thumb across her cheek, he mumbled. “We should head to bed, the schedule can wait until tomorrow morning.”

She said nothing more as they headed to their separate dormitories, sharing quick grins every couple of steps.

“Goodnight, James.”

“Night, Lily.”

She didn’t admit the depths of her feelings that night, but he knew. They both knew.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey!! I had a really bad day and this was the product of that. I haven't written fanfiction like that in a really long time, so I'm a bit rusty, but I hope you enjoyed it :) Saw that there were prompts for Jilytober and decided to actually participate for once. Happy October x


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